It's a gawgeous spring day in middle Tennessee. A good rain yesterday made spring really kick in today. The redbuds and dogwoods are in full swing. Went for a nice long walk this morning before work. The dog's stools are firming up. I just finished drafting a fantasy baseball team that has an offense for once. I'm reading a good book. (Thanks to Angela for the suggestion.) In short, life is good.
Got an update from Marc & Toni, just underway on their round-the-world adventures. They're on the Thai island of Koh Chang, which according to Google Earth appears to be an extremely out-of-the-way location. But I would bet you can get killer Thai food there. Marc/Toni, if you're reading this, please bring me some Pad Phuk Tong!
OK, I have to get this off my chest. A few weeks ago, during the boredom of driving to/from work I started noticing how many other drivers were talking on a handheld mobile phone at the same time. I object to that practice and in fact wish that it was outlawed here (as it has been in numerous other civilized areas). Hell, if they do that, even I might stop doing it. But then I also started noticing that the overwhelming majority of the perps were female. We're talking in the range of a 7-to-1 ratio on a consistent basis. So what I'm planning to do is begin a 20-part special investigation series on thisonegoestoeleven, consisting of video samples in areas of heavy but moving congestion. Armed with solid scientific data to confirm my suspicions, my next move will be to ... well, I've not really thought that far ahead yet. But stay tuned. If any of you are offended by this idea, let me know. But I'll probably still do it anyway.
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Who would have thought that I'd have to go all the way to Colorado to work out that I look like that idiot who does the office stunts that invariably result in severe hyperventilation, before he is saved by his buddies pouring a Bud Light down his throat in the nick of time?
What a moran.
Anyway, the skiing turned out to be a lot better than I had worried it might be. We neither died nor witnessed any fatalities. There was the odd bump, tumble, and bruise to the ego. The most embarrassingly spectacular spill was while trying to get onto one of the (in my opinion, very fast moving) lifts. The Wife wasn't quite in the right spot in time and somehow I fell during the confusion that ensued. My brother-in-law had managed to get seated properly... that is, until my fall took him down too. Add to that the fact that his ski or something got caught in the lift -- resulting in his being dragged 10 feet until the attendant hit the emergency stop button -- and you've got a decent picture of how a lot of my day went.
I can say this about skiing though: it suits me about 1000% better than ice skating.
Below are some quick vids of the skiing. More exhaustive photographic evidence of the whole weekend are in the Colorado section of the photo gallery.
...and my wife the hot dog...
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It looks like I will be skiing for the first time ever on Saturday. (Unless you count water skiing -- Party Cove!! Redneck Paradise!!! YEEEEAAH-HOOOOO!!!! )
If you have been snow skiing before and have any last-minute tips or instructions, please throw them my way. I'd like to know what to expect ahead of time, apart from a substantial amount of pain. If you don't see any more blogs posted here after March 24, you'll know what happened.
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Three news briefs for you, in descending order of importance:
1) The coolest person in the world just got even cooler, and I'm not talking about Samuel Jackson's latest film. The Wife has just received and accepted an offer to work full-time for People. She'll be in charge of reporting and writing for goings-on in Nashville and the region, in addition to being able to pitch ideas for stories elsewhere if she likes. Pretty cool, and I'm pretty proud of her.
2) As I mentioned recently, I've posted a link in the top right section of this page for seeing where I'll be as part of my new job. I hope to cross paths often with friends and family and be able to catch up when away from the home base.
3) I'm not generally into watching basketball, but I do have to say that March Madness can be infectious. Kudos to the Vanderbilt guys for the dramatic double-overtime win today to make the Sweet 16. As a show of support, I will keep the color scheme for this blog black & gold. Kudos also to the MTSU women for kicking Gonzaga's asses 85-46. Nice start.
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Work has been rippin' me a new one lately at times. As part of my routine I now one day a week also have the responsibility of calculating the appropriate hardware for our customers to install our software components on. It is akin to doing your own taxes in any way besides with the 1040-EZ. (And I also like to think of doing them as similar to what doing TPS reports must be like.)
-- While no one part of it is rocket science, it is made up of lots of little details that make your head want to explode.
-- There are several different ways you might work it out, any of which are not technically wrong.
-- You'll definitely hear about it if you make a mistake.
-- If someone interrupts you while you're doing it, you want to punch their mother in the face and then print out the report and shove it down her throat.
In happier work news, I am changing positions - hurrah! Heading back out to the field again in a consulting capacity. It will put me on the road quite a bit, and being away from The Wife sucks (especially starting on the third consecutive day). But one silver lining I'm hoping to find is that I'll be able to catch up with friends scattered hither and yon, and at company expense. With that in mind, soon I plan to start posting my scheduled work trips on this site -- if you see that you will be in the same city as me at the same time, then definitely give me a shout and let's grab a beer or six.
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Today's diversion is brought to you by Richard.
Have a look at these two videos, where you can receive valuable training, should you decide to take up a career or volunteer your spare time visiting nursing home patients whilst dressed up as Chucky.
-- Do not make a sound.
-- Do not travel at excessive speeds when providing the motoring support in wheelchair races.
-- Do not taunt patients.
-- Do not respond to patients' requests, even if it is to clear their windpipe of the chicken bone from lunch.
-- Do all of this in the name of Christ, but don't let on that's the case.
I am confident that the best thing that can come from this will be that patients are freed from the shackles of the nursing home -- and of their earthly lives -- by being scared to death. Literally.
Crazy Clowns Freaking Out Old People in the Name of Christ #1
Crazy Clowns Inducing Cardiac Arrest in Nursing Homes in the Name of Christ #2
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Muchas gracias to Scott ...
...for bringing me along to a private party where Here Come the Mummies were playing. I bought a t-shirt *and* a bumper sticker *and* a CD. Pretty sure that is unprecedented for me, but that's how good they were. Very fun, and tip-top players. Way better than my video making:
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In no particular order, here are 10 ways that The Tennessean sucks. I hope for your sake that the main newspaper where you live is something else.
1. More often than not, it is more hidden near -- than delivered to -- the end of our driveway. If it has rained recently, it will be in the largest puddle.
2. If there is a well written story in it, it came off a wire.
3. It is a kiss-ass of the Tennessee Titans. Who also suck.
4. My wife is a journalist, and so we are more or less obligated to subscribe to it, just to stay on top of local happenings, no matter how suckily reported.
5. They don't pay well, so there is no incentive to attract writers and editors who don't suck (with a very few exceptions).
6. A specific thing from today's edition: they printed a very large (1/5 page?) bracket for the upcoming NCAA men's basketball tourney. That would be interesting and even helpful IF IT HAD ANY TEAMS IN IT!! The field isn't even fully decided yet, and so they have printed a team-less bracket with 64 empty slots in it. I guess they think that since March Madness 2006, the readers have forgotten how a single-elimination tournament works. WTF?
7. It contains a section for our local community (Williamson County) that is even more useless than the rest of it. My favorite example I keep going back to is a piece we found in there on some roadkill. Ostensibly, the dead beaver was big enough to warrant reporting in the paper.... but then at the end of it you find out that it wasn't really that uncommonly large after all. If you would like to read about the roadkill in all its shining glory -- doesn't take long -- it is here: 60-Pound Beaver
8. The Sports section has absolutely no cognizance of the fact that there is a world outside the United States. And that there is a sport that the rest of that world plays, lives, loves and breathes. (Come to think of it, they have only a tiny inkling that there's a world outside Tennessee.)
9. It's owned by Gannett, who sucks.
10. The comics suck.
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